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There are certain things your man needs to be satisfied in the sack but just won't ask for. They will tell Cosmo though! So we spoke to a bunch of guys and experts to find out what tops men's bedroom wish lists.

1. HE WANTS A GIRL WHO CAN TURN HERSELF ON

Women, as you know, need time to get revved up. Although your man may be more than willing to pull out all the stops to get you hot, he wouldn't mind if you gave yourself a running start. "A number of women still believe that it's solely a man's job to arouse them," says Georgia sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. "To have a really fulfilling sexual experience though, you have to put some effort into getting yourself into a sexual state of mind."

To give your libido a boost, draw on the same sources of inspiration you use during solo self-pleasuring missions. Once his seduction scheme begins, close your eyes and fantasize about a hot encounter you had with your man ... or even some other dude. "It's totally OK to think about another sexual partner when you're trying to turn yourself on," reassures Brame. "You just might not want to tell your boyfriend about it."

2. HE WANTS SEX TO BE FUN

Unfortunately, real-life romps aren't as seamless as they are in the movies. "Things don't always go smoothly during sex — some positions don't work, and odd noises happen," says Gardos. "If you get hung up on a mishap, it will ruin the mood. But if you can both laugh, it becomes a light bonding moment."

Chas,* 28, agrees. "One night I tried a new move that wasn't executed properly, and my girl hit her head on the nightstand! She didn't hurt herself, so we could joke about it, and then we got back to what we were doing."

Frisky fun is about more than damage control though. Make a silly bet to be paid off in sexual favors or play a board game naked in bed and agree that the loser has to grant the winner one lusty request.


3. HE WANTS YOU TO DROP HINTS

When it comes to pleasing the women in their lives, every man wishes he had ESP (extrasexual perception). But the truth is, your libidinous longings can be baffling. "That's why a guy loves it when you're able to guide him without barking out orders," says Gardos.

So when giving erotic instruction, throw in some positive reinforcement. "Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of a technique that always gets you off," suggests Brame. "If he's not giving you enough foreplay, ask him to use his hand or mouth to warm you up, saying that you want to draw out the experience."

4. HE WANTS TO WATCH

For men, what they see is almost as good as what they get, so make sure to give him an eyeful. "One time during sex, my girlfriend led me over to a mirror so we could see ourselves in action," remembers Tyler, 21. "I found it really sexy, but what made it hotter was how into it she was."

Another way to turn him on with sight: Keep some clothes on. Sometimes men prefer when you leave a little to the imagination. "Sexy lingerie can be as arousing — or more so — as being nude, because it builds anticipation," says Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D., coauthor of When Men Stop Having Sex.

More great views: you in girl-on-top position or, if you're feeling brave, touching yourself in front of him.

5. HE WANTS YOU TO BE NAUGHTY

Even if you're a bad girl at heart, you might hold back with your guy. "Women are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don't want to shatter any 'good girlfriend' image he has or they don't want him to think they're weird," explains Brame. "But men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you — they just don't want to offend you by asking for it."


What dirty-girl tricks fit the bill? Pretty much anything that shows him how much you like sex and how much you want it with him, says Gardos. To let him know you're into him, grab his butt hard when he's climaxing or gently nip his shoulder.

You may also want to do something unexpected, like initiating a new position or trying a passion prop. "My girlfriend and I were out shopping when she suggested we check out this sex-toy shop," Nick, 27, says. "We ended up buying this thing called a penis sleeve, which is basically a thick, bumpy condom. Not only was it fun to use, but I loved how eager she was to try it."

6. HE WANTS A "WOW, WHAT WAS THAT?" EXPERIENCE

To separate yourself from the pack, you'll need to pull a move so wild, he won't be able to stop thinking about it the next day. "If you've mastered one particular technique that's really hot and different, the entire erotic experience will stand out in his mind," explains psychologist Joel Block, Ph.D., author of The Art of the Quickie.

Now, you don't have to bust out a complicated trick best used by yoga instructors — just tweak an old standby, say, switching between oral sex and intercourse ... with him blindfolded.

You may also want to come up with your own signature mouth move. "When my ex-girlfriend would go down on me, she took her time exploring the whole area with her tongue," remembers Peter, 32. "And she did cool stuff with it, like alternating between using the flat part and then covering the same territory with just the tip. It was an entirely different sensation!"

7. HE WANTS TO MIX THINGS UP

Repetition can make once-hot sack sessions seem ho-hum. So be open to varying things in bed. Any change in speed, pressure, or position will make the act more interesting and pleasurable. "Variety keeps him in a heightened state of arousal because he never knows what to expect," says Block.

During foreplay, wrap your fist around his member (with lube!), moving it up and down with long, smooth strokes. Then add your other hand, and gently twist both hands in opposing directions. When you get to intercourse, start off slowly in missionary. Next, rest your feet on his shoulders for deeper thrusting. Finally, roll over, and let him enter you from behind.

8. HE WANTS NOOKY OUT OF NOWHERE

"You'll win big sexual points with your guy if you spring sex on him out of the blue," says Gardos. "It gives him a huge ego boost by reinforcing the fact that you're really hot for him."

For a spontaneous seduction, ask him to pull over to a deserted spot for a roadside romp when you're driving home one night. Or at a party, take him into a back bedroom or closet. Joe, 23, remembers a naughty surprise attack at a black-tie affair. "My date and I were sitting down at dinner, and she slid her hand under the table and began to pleasure me — right in the middle of the meal! It was so spontaneous and unexpected. I could barely sit still," he recalls.

9. HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU

The best way to bring out the sexy beast in your guy? Initiate some take-me-I'm-yours action. "He'd love to be raw and animalistic with you, but he needs to know you want it too," says Brame. "Kiss him seductively and then pull away, saying that if he wants more, he can come and get it." During the act, you can also tell him "harder" or "faster" if you feel like he's handling you with kid gloves.

Dave, 24, was totally psyched when a woman asked to be ravaged. "An ex-girlfriend lay down on the bed and begged me to rip off her clothes, which I did. The sex was great, but letting me tear her shirt in half was the best part because it was passionate and intense."

10. HE WANTS TO DO NOTHING SOMETIMES

On the flip side, occasionally men prefer it when you take over. Lying back while a chick has her way with him is an ultimate guy fantasy.

Just ask Brian, 26: "I was dating a woman who was sort of a bookworm. But when I got her into bed for the first time, she was wild. Before I could even try to take off her clothes, she threw me back on the bed and blindfolded me with her bra," he remembers. "Then she gave me the best oral sex ever. I didn't have to lift a finger."

For a softer approach, Brame suggests treating your man to allover titillation: Have him lie on the bed naked. Then, starting at one foot, kiss and lick your way up his leg and along the crease where his thigh meets his torso. Next, move to his side, up to his neck, and down to his main event. When you're ready for intercourse, treat him to reverse-cowgirl so he can't help you, even if he wants to. Trust us: The payback will be awesome.

Nigerian actor and producer Desmond Elliot has spoken about the secret ingredient of happy long-lasting marriage.

The Nollywood star, who won best supporting actor at the second Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards, revealed that every woman needs attention, while men think money is the main issue, Nigeriafilms reports.

He was quoted saying:

"Women love attention, they want to know that they are loved and there is security but for a man, all he is thinking about is money, while a woman knows that though you still need to provide for the family, she would still crave for attention. A man sees the question’ how are you as how are you’ but a woman sees how are you in three different ways. She begins to think, okay, why is he asking me how I am? At what time is he asking how are you? Did one word come before the other?"

Desmond who is crazy in love with his wife once said his spouse meant "the whole world" to him adding they had been dating for 8 years before getting married.

Meanwhile the successful actor and the father of 4 has recently enrolled in the National Open University of Nigeria together with his colleague Ini Edo.

Source: Naij Nigeriafilms

My 30s was the decade of unhealthy relationships. These relationships dimmed my light and made me unconscious to the reality of what love was.
While I should have known better, it was still hard for me to walk away. I've seen this time and time again with women who contact me about their relationship dilemmas and with clients I've coached. If it were easy, more women would leave sooner instead of spending so much time with the wrong guys and in the wrong relationships.
Are You In An Unhealthy Relationship?

It's easier to spot if someone else's relationship is healthy or not since you're not involved. When it comes to your own relationship, it can be trickier to know because the signs are subtle and can leave you feeling uncertain and second- guessing yourself.
If you answer "yes" to any of the scenarios below, chances are your relationship is unhealthy.

1. My partner is mentally, physically or emotionally abusive to me.
2. I am constantly defending or rationalizing my partner's behaviors to my friends, family and myself.
3. If my best friend was in the kind of relationship I'm in, I would tell her to leave.
4. I keep hoping my partner will change for the better.
5. I am only with him because we have kids together.
6. I don't look forward to seeing or talking to him.
7. I am unhappier when I'm with him and at the thought of him.
8. I am suspicious of my partner and am afraid to confront him.
9. I feel drained after spending time with him.
10. I don't feel good about myself when I'm with him.
11. Things don't feel quite right with us.
12. I don't feel supported.
13. We only connect on a superficial level (e.g. sexual chemistry).
14. I can't talk to my partner openly.
15. I feel like I can't completely be myself. I act and behave in a certain way so that my partner will like or love me more.

Note: These scenarios go both ways. For instance, if your partner doesn't feel supported in the relationship, your relationship is unhealthy.
I know how hard it is to walk away from a guy and relationship that is not healthy for you. Yet when you keep focused on the reality of your situation instead of how you want things to be, you will see things more clearly. Continuing to stay in an unhealthy relationship does not make it easier to walk away. When I left my unhealthy relationships, my love life shifted for the better.
Have The Courage To Walk Towards Something Better
Having the love you want and deserve takes courage. If you've been thinking about leaving and are having a hard time doing so, you may be focusing on what you don't want (i.e. that you don't want to start over again). When you focus on what you don't want, you will ignore what's wrong with your situation, keep getting more of the same or not change anything.
Instead, think of it not as leaving, but as walking toward a healthier relationship with someone else. This could mean freeing yourself to start meeting men who are at a good place in their lives.
If you're at the point where you are ready to move forward, these 10 steps will move you towards a healthier relationship. If you're not quite ready, take some time to heal yourself and then practice these 10 steps.
10 Steps For Moving Towards A Healthier Relationship

1. Be kind and gentle to yourself. When things aren't working out the way you'd like, it's easy to judge yourself. Instead, be kind and gentle. Know that every relationship — healthy and unhealthy — serves a purpose. Each relationship is there for you to learn and grow from. The most important thing is how you respond to what happens to you.
2. Don't take things personally. Whatever your partner did or didn't want to do, or however he treated you is based on his level of integrity (i.e. who he is and where he is in his life). You just happen to be the person who showed up at this time. Understanding this will better help you to not take things personally. 
3. Reflect on your role in this and past relationships. Reflect on the same issues and challenges that continue to come up in this and past relationships. Consider how you contributed to these issues and challenges. For instance, did you stir up troubling situations or escalate things by over-reacting? What unhealthy qualities and traits do the guys you've been with share? Why do you suppose you attracted these type of guys into your life? What lessons are you meant to learn from being with them? How can you feel like you deserve to be with a healthier man moving forward?
4. Prepare yourself by doing the inner work. After you have figured out how you contributed to the issues and challenges in your relationships, do the inner work to improve yourself in those areas. For instance, if your tendency has been to avoid confrontation whenever sticky situations came up, you will want to work on being able to express yourself in the moment. Your greatest growth opportunities happen in situations where you feel especially challenged.
5. Get clear on what you want. Determine the top five to seven things that are most important for you to have in your ideal partner and relationship. Let's say you want a partner who is loyal, trustworthy, affectionate, a good communicator, intelligent and active. And let's say you want to be in a relationship that is meaningful, flows with ease, is honest, supportive and respectful. Being clear on what you want makes it easier to stay on track instead of getting sidetracked by the wrong men and relationships. 
6. Practice being what you want. We attract who we are and who we are being — not what we want. For the qualities you identified in #5, practice being those very qualities with yourself and in your relationships with friends, family and co-workers. The more you embody these qualities, the more you will attract a partner and relationship with these qualities.
7. Focus on what you want. If you tend to think about what you don't want, the things you don't want will keep showing up. Instead, keep your focus on the top five to seven things that are most important for you to have in your ideal partner and relationship.
8. Choose in favor of what you want. Short-term decisions and choices have longer consequences. Whenever you have a choice or decision, make sure you move towards what you want. Ask yourself, "am I making a choice that will move me closer to what I want?"  Your answer will indicate what you should do.
9. Trust in the process and outcome. It's human nature to want to feel in control of things, including love. When you find yourself trying to control, you will feel stressed, worried, concerned and unable to relax. When you are clear and focused on what you want, choosing in favor of those things and trusting in the process and outcome becomes easier. If you can truly understand that everything is happening for your greater good, you will be able to relax more easily and trust in what is meant to be.
10. Get comfortable with the unknown. Get comfortable with the unknown by expanding your comfort zone. The reason this is important is that you will be changing yourself in positive ways, meeting men who are different and being treated in ways that you are not used to. All of these scenarios represent change. Even positive change that is outside of your comfort zone will feel uncomfortable. The more you expand your comfort zone, the more you will journey to love with ease and enjoyment.

True and Lasting Love Comes Only From A Healthy Relationship
Having true and lasting love takes courage to make changes from within, focus to stay the course and the strength to say "no" to guys and things that aren't good for you. It means letting go of baggage that no longer serves you and being open to good men you normally wouldn't be interested in. I encourage you to practice these 10 steps to a healthier relationship. Be courageous, let go of baggage, be open to good men, and you will find true and lasting love.
If you have realized you are now in an unhealthy relationship, what will you start doing to detach yourself from this relationship? Please share your comments below.

Who cheat most - Men or Women? 

Cheating is becoming more common among people mostly under 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a spouse) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they get married.

Explanation is probably the most well known: Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship - something is missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, people find someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on.

As more and more women enter the work force, "office romances" are becoming more common. Spouses often spend more time with coworkers than with each other.
The internet, e-mail, and chat rooms are making it easier for people to engage in such acts.

Men are more likely to cheat than women. But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity.

Simply stated, people claim that they are not happy in their relationship so they look for love and affection elsewhere.

Let us know your thoughts in the comments - “Who cheat most - Men or Women?”